Thursday, January 31, 2013

My Ted Kaczynski

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Remember I promised only funny posts while my Aunt is in the hospital? Well there's just been some life-stuff going on that's not funny. Anyway, you get it. I'm back with a funny story for you tonight. :)

First let me start off by saying that my husband likes his "stuff." He's protective of it and not good about sharing it. I am not built this way so we are very different creatures when it comes to this subject.

Okay, so on Saturday I'm at the grocery store and Mark is home with the kids. I'm in the check-out line and I pull out my phone to check email. I see an email from our Home Owners Association addressed to the entire neighborhood which is like 130 houses. I read the first line and it says "Please read the attached letter from resident, Mark Prenni." Huh? I read on...

"In the last couple months I’ve had several occurrences of people from the neighborhood accessing my property. The property is and has been posted with “No Trespassing” signs. Unfortunately, the trespassing has escalated into theft. This past weekend, I found one of my trail cameras stolen. I’ve contacted the police and am working with them in their investigation. We have some evidence to work with and we’re hopeful to catch the culprit. There is high potential that the individual(s) are from the neighborhood. If found, I will be prosecuting with criminal trespassing and theft. I don’t want to cause issues, I just want my camera back and for people to stay off my property. So if anyone finds that their kid mysteriously acquired a trail camera, you can put it in our mailbox or on our porch – no questions asked. Otherwise, I will use the legal system to resolve it if we figure out the responsible party(s). Because of the unfortunate events, from this point forward I will be looking to press charges against anyone found trespassing on my property." -Mark Prenni

OMG!! I am dying. He did NOT just send that out to our entire neighborhood!! I pull my shopping cart over and call home. Our conversation goes like this:

Mark: Hey
Me: Umm..Hi Ted Kaczynski. What the hell was that email?
Mark: What?
Me: Is it your goal that the children and I have NO friends in the neighborhood?
Mark: It wasn't that bad.
Me: (Laughing)..Are you kidding me? "From this point forward you will be pressing charges against anyone found trespassing on our property?"Mark: Well my Trail Camera was stolen.
Me: Ya--and I'm sorry about that. I can pick you up a new one for 59 bucks on the way home.Mark: That's not the point.
Me: Our children and their friends play on that property every day; they are going to be afraid to come over here now!
Mark: You're being dramatic!
Me: You're being psycho.

So I drive home shaking my head and not believing that this email just went out to my entire neighborhood. I am mortified. I get home and find yet another mass email from the Home Owners Association. This one says:

All:My wife just told me that my email was too harsh. If I've offended anyone, I'm sorry. For the folks who's kids play with my kids on the property, we still want the kids to play back there, get muddy, catch frogs and do kid stuff.Regards,
Mark Prenni
OMG again!! Now he's brought our marriage into it and made me look like a bully. Double embarrassing!! So our next conversation goes like this:

Me: OMG! Just stop writing--please stop writing--no more emails!
Mark: What's the problem..I fixed it.
Me: No.
Mark: What do you want me to do?
Me: Run it by me before sending out any mass mailings from our family!
Mark: Whatever. So dramatic.

He soo doesn't get it!! Embarrassing!! But a funny story anyway...

1 comment:

  1. Okay funniest post EVER!!!! I am dying! I saw the follow up email but not the original! Wow, Ted Kaczynski, just wow. I will be watching for booby traps when traipsing around back there from now on!