My father LOVED Fruitcake but that's not saying much because he also loved Garlic Bologna and Olive Loaf sandwiches. I am certain if they had the Meat Clown back then; he would have served it to us kids with excitement. What's that? You're not familiar with the Meat Clown? My apologies. Here you go...
So, back to the Fruitcake. Why does Fruitcake get such a bad rap anyway? Is it truly as bad as people let on? YES. Yes it is. I've never made one and I never will but my father had me try a bite when I was 10 years old and I've never forgotten it. That says a lot. From that one single bite along with examining the many Fruitcakes re-gifted to us over the years; I can give you a basic rundown of ingredients. First, obviously there's fruit. But we're not talking about fresh and delicious fruit; this is candied fruit. Also known as yuck. You take a bunch of cherries, pineapple, apricots, oranges, grapes, lemons--whatever you have in the fridge and then you add a PILE of sugar and corn syrup and boil it down until it looks exactly like Jujyfruits. Next you add dates, raisins, currants or any dried up, sticky sweet, dead fruit. (Have we discussed my disdain for raisins?) Time to throw in LOTS of nuts--walnuts, pecans, etc. The chunkier the better! Oh and don't forget a pound of butter, half a dozen eggs, brown sugar, molasses and liquor! Rum, Brandy, Colt 45...whatever you have on hand. If you've never held a Fruitcake, simply pick up a brick and you'll get the idea. The best part is that when you slice into a Fruitcake; it appears to be preserved in a clear gelatin--almost like a "natural" Saran Wrap. I truly can't think of anything less appetizing.
So I wrote my neighbor a thank you yesterday after finding the Fruitcake she left for us. It said something like this:
Thank you for the amazing fruitcake. What a thoughtful gift that just screams "Prenni family." You must've thought of us immediately when you saw it in the store. Wow; we are truly touched. Thank you, happy holidays and God Bless!!
And then I wrapped that fruitcake right up to bring to a Christmas party tomorrow night. Yes I did! And it made me laugh. It made me remember all the tacky things I love about Christmas...the sweaters, Cousin Eddie, candy cane fencing, eggnog served in glass moose mugs, mistletoe hanging off the bill of my dad's baseball cap and ofcourse, Fruitcake. I decided to send one to my brother's family in California; his wife has never tried it. I sent one to Allie's family too. My gift tags read:
"Was thinking of you all and trying to find that perfect gift that screamed your names. I think I did it! We love you SO much!! -Annie & Family xoxo"