1.feeling or showing tiredness, especially as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep.
synonyms: tired, worn out, exhausted, fatigued, sapped, burnt-out, dog-tired, spent, drained.
That sounds about right…sapped, burnt-out, drained. This is NOT my favorite time of year y’all! January isn’t usually too bad but February could be wiped off the calendar forever and I’d be good. This year however..it started in January! Ugh!
Seasonal Affective Disorder? I don’t think so. I have consistently hated February, even while living in sunny Florida and Georgia. I remember when my cousin Kate went to see a Therapist while living in Chicago with the same issue. She was married with 2 little kids, a great job as music teacher at the local elementary school, and an all around full life. This therapist said to her and I quote, “You have Seasonal Affective Disorder and it’s not going to get any better until you move to a warm climate. My suggestion is that you move to Florida as soon as possible.” LOL!! We got such a chuckle out of that. Sure—just drop everything and move to Florida. Husband’s job, the home you own…piece of cake!
Similarly my therapist told me yesterday to pack a bag and get out of town for the weekend—go to one of those Spa Retreats in New Mexico. YA! Right! 3 kids, 3 dogs—one being a puppy who’s potty training; a husband who's been home sick with the Flu since Friday and who still hasn't been able to return to work. (This is a nasty flu going around—makes you feel like you were hit by a mack truck.) And on Monday, Will woke up with dad’s Flu. It didn’t matter that I kept Mark isolated like an Ebola patient. It didn't matter that I bleached every surface of this house, changed all the toothbrushes, washed hands 1,000 times, etc. It didn’t work. I heard Laine up coughing all last night so I’m assuming she’s next. And I don’t know what they’re gonna do if I get sick. I guess they’ll all just die.
So I’ve been playing nurse for 6 days. Multiple runs for Gatorade, more soup ingredients, popsicles (that’s what my kid wants when he has a fever,) prescriptions, Kleenex, cough drops, Germ Free Humidifiers, new filters, etc. I was making the chicken noodle soup again last night and the smell of it actually nauseated me. Too much! It's Groundhog Day—that’s what it feels like in my house right now. And if my whining is annoying you; you should probably stop reading now because I’m just gonna keep going…
I miss my mom—a lot! She's the person I would normally call to vent to about this stuff. She would listen; let me vent and then she would share a similar story about a time when she was ready to throw in the towel. She would do this to make me feel better; to make me feel normal. And best of all—anytime I got sick; she played nurse to ME; even if it was just over the phone. I just realized that my nurse is gone. :(
So..this isn't my favorite season. And I’m grieving. It’s only been 2 months. I remember when one of my best friends had her kids in the baby/toddler stage and she sounded really down in the dumps. I asked her if she was okay—like really okay. She said, “Ya, I’m okay; I’m just not having very much fun right now.” I loved that answer! Honest. Perfect. So that’s where I’m at you guys. I’m just not having very much fun right now.